


Warms the Heart

by EzraTheBlue



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Gen or Pre-Slash, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Rated for Gojyo's Language, Saiyuki Secret Santa 2017, WAFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 12:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13146285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzraTheBlue/pseuds/EzraTheBlue
Summary: As Goku braves the snow in hopes of impressing Sanzo, Sanzo is reminded of the importance of warmth to help one survive the cold winter.





	Warms the Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sarasvati](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarasvati/gifts).



> Written as a gift for Sarasvati for the 2017 Saiyuki Secret Santa Exchange! Special thanks to StrawberrySuccubus and Illegalitygirl for beta reading!

**Warms the Heart**

Chang'an’s winters were always cold, Goku had found, but after spending more winters than he could count on top of a mountain that was bitterly frigid in winter and sweltering in the summer sun, he didn’t mind this sort of cold. Plus, Hakkai had knit him a hat, gloves, and a scarf last year, and Sanzo had given him a toasty new parka this year after he’d outgrown his old coat. It was bright red with a fluffy hood, warm and comfy and smelling just a little like sandalwood and cigarettes from Sanzo hiding it in his bedroll until he saw fit to gift it to him. It was the best! He barely felt the cold at all when he wore it! Snow was still falling and the wind bit at his nose and through the gaps in his sleeves, but Sanzo had told him to go shovel the walks, so shovel he would. He had set off with the shovel and broom, and he’d already been told by the abbot that he’d done a good job getting the walk around the main sanctuary and dormitories. Even if the snow kept falling all night, he would be able to get it swept up again easy in the morning.

“No snow down Sanzo’s sandals or in his socks,” Goku promised himself, and kept tossing shovels of snow over his shoulder. He’d been at it a while and his gloves were wet, but really, tromping through the snow was still novel to him. He didn’t mind at all, until some of the tossed snow hit him back. He spun around, wondering who else was shoveling, but heard a ring of familiar laughter.

“Oi, idiot monkey!” Goku pivoted around to see Gojyo and Hakkai on the path towards the sanctuary bundled up in their winter scarves and hats, Hakkai waving, Gojyo packing another snowball. Goku dodged just as he pitched the snowball at him, and tackled Gojyo head on. Gojyo laughed and caught him, pushing back and ruffling his hair before jerking his hand away. “Holy shit, kid, you’re freezing! How long have you been out here?”

“Few hours!” Goku gave Gojyo a shove back and set his hands on his hips. “I’ve shoveled a bunch of the walks, and I got more to do!”

“Is that so?” Hakkai smiled, like he always did, but Goku could tell he was a little impressed. “You’ve done a good job.”

“Thanks!” Goku beamed, basking in the admiration until Gojyo slung an arm around his shoulder and ruffled his hair.

“Hah, look at you.” Gojyo snickered into his ear, and messed his hair up real good. “Here two years ago, you were scared of the snow, now you’re pushing it around like it’s nothing!”

“Yeah! Like you!” Goku gave him another push back, then picked up the shovel. “But if I clear the snow away, the snow building up won’t make things sound so quiet inside.”

“Oh, is that why you’re doing it?” Hakkai tapped his lower lip, and Goku shrugged.

“Yeah, that and I was getting all bored inside and I guess I got on Sanzo’s nerves. He told me I was being a nuisance, so I should go shovel and get some energy out.” He hit the back of the shovel and knocked the snow and ice packed inside loose, as Hakkai cocked his head and Gojyo scoffed. “See, I figure if I do a real good job, he won’t mind if I’m noisy!”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’ll be too tired to be noisy.” Gojyo crossed his arms.

“I’m never too tired for that.” Goku grinned with all his teeth. “What brings you guys over?”

“Ah, Sanzo had a job for us!” Hakkai patted his pocket, then tugged Gojyo’s sleeve. “We oughtn’t keep him waiting, but Goku, don’t stay out too long. I can feel the cold coming in, it’s tugging at my scars a bit.”

“Yeah, me too.” Gojyo rubbed his face, grimacing, and hailed Goku. “Yeah, what he said, though. Go get some tea or something, the snow’s still falling so there’ll be plenty to do later.”

“That’s why I gotta keep up on it!” Goku polished his bicep. “I’ll make sure everyone can get around easy!” He continued shoveling, just as enthusiastic as before, missing the look Gojyo and Hakkai traded as they walked on.

Sanzo was at his desk, hard at work, when Gojyo and Hakkai entered. He hardly glanced up as they came in, though Gojyo hailed him. “Yo! Can’t imagine how you’re sittin’ by that drafty window, it’s so damn cold my balls are retreating into my taint like a two-headed turtle.”

Sanzo shuddered, but motioned for them to come in. “I’ve got tea, which apparently needs whiskey in it so I can forget I ever heard you say that.” He pushed some of his papers aside, then took a long draft from his teacup to empty it. “Since you’ve got the nerve to show your faces, I imagine your most recent venture was a success?”

“It was.” Hakkai gingerly, opened his jacket and took out a small stone statuette of Kannon. “We found the thief trying and failing to sell it. Apparently, it was his intention to purchase coal, as he’s been out of work, his wife is  _enceinte_  and has been too ill to work, and he has two small children already.” Hakkai pushed the statuette towards Sanzo. “But here it is, ready to return to the shrine upon being blessed.”

Sanzo scoffed, just as Gojyo crossed his arms. “We’re giving half of what you give us to the poor bastard’s family. Nobody deserves to freeze, no matter how down on their luck they are.”

“Tch.” Sanzo turned the statuette over in his hands, looking for cracks or chips, then carefully moved it to the windowsill behind him. “You’re too nice.”

Hakkai clicked his tongue. “Goodness, a little kindness never hurt anyone, did it?”

Sanzo narrowed his eyes, nostrils flaring. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

“Ah, so true. Well, at least the path is clear.” Hakkai smiled, but Sanzo sensed something cold and hard under it. “We passed Goku on our way in. He’s done a good job clearing all the walkways, but he’s turning blue.”

“He was practically begging for something to do.” Sanzo shrugged and reshuffled his papers, breaking eye contact from Gojyo and Hakkai. “He’s nothing but noise on quiet days like this. He needed to get the energy out.”

“That ain’t nothing new.” Gojyo leaned over the table, fist down on the surface. “Why you gotta give him extra shit today, of all days?” Sanzo sneered, even as Hakkai tugged Gojyo back by his jacket.

“Now, now. Perhaps Sanzo likes the quiet of the snow.”

“I have too much to do to worry about spoiled brat monkeys and snow piling up,” Sanzo muttered, pointedly looking back down at the papers on his desk. “All this weird-ass youkai behavior is making my job harder.”

“Ah, still?” Hakkai pursed his lips in thought. “I wonder if something’s going on…”

“Hey, who cares?” Gojyo threw his hands out in an exaggerated shrug. “It don’t matter to Goku how much work you’ve got to do, the pet monkey still needs attention from his keeper.”

“Get bent.”

“Ah, but he’s not wrong.” Hakkai tapped his lower lip. “I imagine he just needs some attention to get him through these too-quiet winter months. Even now, he’s only working as hard as he is to impress you.”

“Hmph.” Sanzo turned in his chair, deliberately away from Hakkai and Gojyo. “I have hard work to do too, and nobody gives a shit about that. I’ll be impressed if he can ever learn to sit still for ten minutes without complaining about how bored he is.”

“He’s young, give him time – ah, but that reminds me. A present for both of you.” Hakkai reached into his jacket again and took out a little sack of clementines. “When he comes back in, you should give him some vitamin C to keep him from catching a cold, and have some for yourself. It really is rather drafty in here.” Hakkai put on a diplomatic smile. “Though, of course, a little human kindness can warm the heart as sure as a well-stoked flame.”

“You’re noisy, too.” Sanzo put the bag down under his desk, and shooed Gojyo and Hakkai off with a flick of his fingers. “What I really need is these windows patched. Maybe next time Goku gets bored inside I’ll send him out with new papers for the windows.”

Gojyo whistled. “You got a heart of ice, man. C'mon, Hakkai, let’s go home.”

“Hmm.” Hakkai considered Sanzo a moment longer, and though Sanzo was sure of exactly what he was thinking about him, he decided it easier to ignore him than to address it. Fortunately, Hakkai merely put steel in his smile and eased back from the desk. “Well, enjoy your quiet afternoon in.” He about-faced abruptly and marched out, and Gojyo whistled but quickly followed, only pausing to toss a cheeky wave at Sanzo as he turned the corner.

Sanzo scoffed to himself as his door slid shut. The moment Hakkai and Gojyo’s footsteps faded from earshot, he took a whiskey bottle out from within his desk and took a quick slug, then sighed. He was grateful for the quiet. He had too much to do to be interrupted by cheerful smiles and goads to play or goof around. Work piled up on him, and as much as Goku could be a good distraction from the doldrums of paperwork, sometimes he just needed peace and quiet to focus. Damn Hakkai and Gojyo and their teasing. Damn Goku and his effervescent energy, it was time for peace and quiet. He took one more swig of whiskey, put the bottle away, and settled back into work.

So, work he did, even as the draft passed through the window colder than ever, as his lantern burned low and steady on the table, while the only sound in his head was the rush of wind through the gaps in the paper. Sometimes he thought he heard Goku laughing and would look up, first with annoyance, then with expectation, and finally actually wishing it would be real this time. It had started to get dark, the kind of pitch black that only set in after the solstice, and Sanzo realized he hadn’t really heard from Goku in hours. It had gotten too quiet.

“Where the hell is that little shit?” Sanzo shoved back from his desk and stormed up to his feet, shivering just a little as the cold hit him again, and he strode past the unfinished pile of papers to his door, already shouting, “The ape’s been gone too long, who saw him last?”

A few of the acolytes recalled seeing Goku sweeping near the stairs when they were returning from their errands, but Sanzo could also just follow all the swept paths. Snow still fell, sluggishly swirling and twirling down in puffy little flakes, but the paths were still mostly cleared, only a little patchy in places. Nothing worth complaining about, not worth criticizing. Goku had done a good job, Sanzo conceded. He’d also done a lot. All of the main paths were swept and shoveled clean except the snow that had fallen in Goku’s wake.

As he got close to the stairs, though, the sweeping began to look a little uneven, spots missed or scoops taken up crooked. Goku was getting lazy, Sanzo mused, except then he remembered all the other walks that were swept right. He was probably getting tired. Had Goku really been out sweeping all this time? Had nobody else thought to call him in?

“Goku, get your ass back here!” He cupped his hands around his mouth. “It’s time for dinner, come and get it or I’ll throw your portion to the crows!”

There was no response. That was wrong. Goku was supposed to come running and whining and protesting, then complaining about how hungry he was and making all sorts of ruckus. Sanzo found himself picking up his pace as he trudged onward through the snow, listening for Goku anywhere, his voice, the crunch of the shovel in the snow, the patter of his footsteps.

All was quiet. Far too quiet.

Then, he saw a puddle of red at the top of the stairs, the shovel and broom dropped, the snow gathering on a too-still form. Sanzo’s heart stopped.

Sanzo ran over to find Goku curled up on the ground, his red parka flecked with snow and chilled through, his face flushed and blue. Little puffs of steam gathered around his mouth as he strained to breathe. Sanzo shook him and slapped his face a few times. “Get up, get up! Wake up!”

“Mmnnn..” Goku blinked an eye open, then squeezed it shut again, curling up a little more. “I’m jus’ takin’ a break, I promise…”

“Taking a – idiot!” Sanzo slapped him again, too angry to do anything else. Goku made an unhappy noise, but didn’t say anything. He probably couldn’t even feel the sting, Sanzo realized with horror. Goku’s face was as cold as the air around them, his gloves and coat were damp and chilly. “You moron! Why didn’t you come in when you got cold!?”

“M'not cold,” Goku mumbled, clearly straining to look Sanzo in the face. “Coat’s nice an’ warm. You got me a real nice coat, see?” He turned a shaking, shivering hand over, eyes sparking with a tiny glimmer of light. “You asked me to sweep, and I was gonna finish. I did a good job, right? I just needed a little break, I’m just a little tired…”

The idiot probably had no idea what it was to be cold. Sanzo shifted and worked Goku up onto his shoulders in a rough approximation of a fireman’s carry – damn, when had he gotten so heavy? – and began to drag him back inside. “You might not feel it, but you’re chilled through. You’re coming back in now.”

Goku mumbled something about promising not to be too loud, and Sanzo groaned with disgust.

It wasn’t an easy walk back to his quarters, but Sanzo made it, hollering for an acolyte as he got to the halls and demanding someone stoke the fire and bring him soup and tea: “Someone help me keep this moron from getting hypothermia!” He heard the acolytes and junior monks all start up a tizzy of worry about Goku, and despite the buzz of activity, he felt a spike of satisfaction that Goku had endeared himself enough to them to engender their concern. Sanzo worried more about what was right in front of him as he dumped Goku down in front of the stove in his bedroom and started to work his coat off. Goku made a few limp efforts to cooperate, but Sanzo couldn’t care how useless he was right now so long as he got those freezing things off of him. Sure enough, the parka was damp and heavy from soaking up snow. Goku had probably gotten numb to it without even realizing the cold was building up. His gloves dripped, wet and frigid, and even his pants and clothes under his outerwear were soaked and cold. Naked, Goku’s skin was pale and flushed, almost blue, and his teeth started chattering as the fire wicked up the numbness and he likely felt the cold for the first time in a few hours.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “Now you’re cold, huh?”

“Y-yeah,” Goku agreed through his shivering jaw, drawing his arms around himself. “G-guess I sh-sh-should'a stopped earlier, huh?” He managed an embarrassed, sheepish smile, and Sanzo would have slapped him again if he wasn’t more worried about Goku feeling it now.

“Idiot.” He yanked a clean nightshirt and underwear from Goku’s trunk and held them out towards them. “Dry things, on your ass, now.”

Goku made a token effort to get his boxers on without moving from his place on the floor by the fire, and Sanzo helped him get them on the rest of the way, then yanked the shirt down over his head. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“Master Sanzo, soup and tea for Goku!”

Sanzo got up, leaving Goku to finish dressing, but as he turned, he felt Goku grab onto the side of his robe.

“Um, s-s-sorry I’m causin’ trouble. I just w-w-wanted to make ya happy.”

Sanzo scowled, but yanked his robe from Goku’s grip. “Stay there.” He opened the door as little as he could to keep the draft from getting in, just wide enough for the acolyte to push the tray through. “Send my gratitude to the kitchens and more wood for the fire.” The acolyte nodded and rushed off, and Sanzo shut the door tight and put the tray down in front of Goku. “Eat.” He stepped past Goku to grab the quilt from his bedroll, and wrapped it around Goku’s shoulders tight as he, his hands still shaking, tried to get the lids off of the bowls. Sanzo got down in front of him and pulled both lids off, then pushed the spoon into Goku’s hand. “Don’t tell me you can’t feed yourself.”

“I can,” Goku mumbled, giving Sanzo a sour little look as he adjusted his grip on the spoon, then rubbed his spoon hand with his other hand to warm it up before dipping into the soup. “Sucks. I’m not t-tryin’ to annoy ya. I just wanted to make you happy.”

“Yeah, giving yourself hypothermia, that’ll put a smile on my ass.” Sanzo fixed the blanket around his shoulders and trudged towards the window, then lit up a cigarette. The draft was colder than ever. Maybe Sanzo could get Gojyo to patch the windows. He glanced over his shoulder again to see Goku shivering and trying to adjust the blanket on his shoulders, and shuffled over, tucking his cigarette deep in the crook of his fingers, to pull the blanket back up to the back of his neck. “You did a good job. I didn’t ask you to hurt yourself to impress me, though.”

Goku twisted back a little, catching and holding Sanzo’s gaze, wide-eyed. “I… I didn’t mean ta…”

“I didn’t think you did.” Sanzo sat down to face Goku, letting him look him in the eye. Despite the feverish blush in Goku’s cheeks, Sanzo could also see that some of that babyish roundness was sinking away. When had he started to grow up? “You were doing your best, but you have to recognize your limits. Take breaks, you’re not some tireless golem. You see monkeys in hot springs in this weather; you should be no exception.”

Goku chuckled a little, ducking back into the blanket. “Y-yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m rechargeable, but I need time to recharge. Just, you kicked me out, and all.”

“I didn’t say ‘don’t come back.‘” Sanzo crossed his arms, still not quite feeling like hitting Goku again. Especially not when he’d finally gotten the soup spoon steady in his hand to take a few sips. Instead, he took a slow pull on his smoldering cigarette, and exhaled the smoke slowly before saying, “Take breaks. I’ll have a pot of tea waiting for you. Don’t overdo it.”

Goku’s face brightened, and Sanzo was sure it was from more than just the broth warming his cheeks. “Thanks, Sanzo.” He grinned, showing off that his teeth weren’t chattering as much, then picked up his tea bowl and gulped most of it down. Sanzo sat back and let him eat, devoting his attention to his cigarette for a moment to finish it off. Goku wasn’t a quiet eater, but at least he wasn’t talking when his mouth was full. Sanzo found he didn’t even care about Goku’s enthusiastic enjoyment of his soup and tea. It was nice to have a little noise in the room other than his own breathing.

When Goku put his empty bowl down, Sanzo stubbed his cigarette out on the edge of the stove and extended a hand. “Let me see your fingers.” Goku cocked his head for a moment, then put his fingers in Sanzo’s palm. Sanzo spread his fingers, then squeezed the tips one by one. He could see the blood pulse in and out of the fingernail by the firelight. “Can you feel when I do that?” Goku nodded and made an affirmative “mhm,” and Sanzo nodded too. If he had frostbite, it wasn’t too bad. Sanzo massaged each finger for a moment, and Goku grunted, but held still. “When I was on my own,” he started, and though Goku cocked his head, Sanzo let the sentence hang. He remembered being all alone in the mountains, in the cold, trying to remember what he’d heard about how to keep his fingers from dying and breaking off. He remembered the deafening quiet of the snowy mountains, of being alone when he was terrified. “I got frostbite back then,” he finally muttered, if only because he hated unfinished sentences. “It sucked the goddamn root.”

“Ah, yeah, I bet!” Goku tilted his head to look a little closer at Sanzo’s fingers. “Is that why your hands are so cold?”

“Shut up.” Sanzo slapped the back of Goku’s hand. “You look like you’re going to be just fine. Your mouth is working again, anyway.”

“Yeah, well.” Goku stuck his tongue out at Sanzo. “That never stops.”

“Hmph. Going in and going out.” Sanzo could have said a lot more, but decided not to. He was just fine with that mouth working again. There was another knock at the door, and Sanzo opened it to find an acolyte carrying a bundle of firewood. Sanzo traded Goku’s empty tray for the firewood, but he heard Goku rustling around behind him. When he turned around, firewood still in hand, and saw Goku with the blankets askew and scrambling his way back under, something in hand. He shut the door tight and stormed back over, dropping the firewood and holding a hand out again. “What do you have?”

Goku grinned sheepishly and showed Sanzo the clementine in his hand. “Winter’s good for clementines, right?” He looked back down on it, chewing his lower lip as he tried to work his fingers into the peel. Sanzo remembered that Hakkai had left a bag and encouraged him to share, “Vitamin C” or whatever, and Goku must have sniffed them out. Sanzo put a log on the fire and sat again, watching as Goku failed a few times to get the peel loose, but his fingers were still fumbling. Sanzo rolled his eyes and held a hand out.

“Give it here.”

Goku’s eyes went wide, but after a moment’s hesitation, he passed the clementine to Sanzo. Sanzo easily peeled the skin off in a few clumps, then used the edge of his thumb to work one of the wedges off. He held the segment out to Goku, who nervously accepted it and tucked it into his mouth, and Sanzo broke a piece off for himself and bit into it.

A little bitter, but oh, so sweet. Goku opened his mouth to him again, and Sanzo passed him another segment, and as Goku bit it right out of his fingers with a cheeky grin, Sanzo felt heat ignite in his chest as sure as if a coal were lit there.

They shared the clementine, piece by piece, and Sanzo pitched the peel into the fire with another log. Goku was slumping over, tipping back and forth, and Sanzo touched his forehead. No fever. “Seems like you’re just fine.”

“S'good.” Goku leaned into Sanzo’s touch, then scooted so that he was sitting flush to Sanzo, closer to the stove. “Thanks for taking care of me. M'not a little kid anymore, so you shouldn’t have to.”

“Damn right.” Sanzo started for another cigarette, then thought better of it. “But I wanted to.” He could feel Goku observing him, those perceptive eyes gleaming like coins in the firelight, until his face split with a big, dumb grin and he let himself slump onto Sanzo’s shoulder.

“I’m sleepy, but I’m still cold. Can I get the bedroll after a few more minutes right here?”

“Do what you like.” Sanzo grunted a little as Goku took that as permission to settle his full weight against his shoulder, and while a very large part of him wanted to shove the little idiot off, he decided not to. After all, it was cold alone on the floor, and Goku might have felt a little shaky still but he was radiating warmth now.

Perhaps this was a sign, Sanzo thought. Perhaps something had changed under his nose, or while he’d been buried under paperwork, but somewhere, Goku had stopped being a child, less in need of scolding and correction, more in need of guidance and camaraderie. Someday, those dumpling cheeks would be gone, and Sanzo had no way of knowing what sort of Goku would greet him when that day came, what face he might wear, what he would say, how he would shift Sanzo’s world once more like the aftershocks of a long-past earthquake. However, for certain, the days were gone when Sanzo could just pretend to ignore that voice, and that was a reality Sanzo knew had been a long time coming. He’d thought the call might fade, and yet here he sat, beckoned as sure as ever, albeit for new reasons. Reasons, perhaps, that had nothing at all to do with Goku growing up, but they were reasons Sanzo couldn’t yet put into words.

There was no need for words right now. Not even when Goku started to snore. Sanzo rolled his eyes at the grating rumble in his ear, but smoothed Goku’s hair back from his diadem as he slept. He could at least admit to preferring the noise of Goku to the utter silence of a life without him.

Even without the quiet, there was peace, and they were warm together.


End file.
